I have absolutely no frigging idea why people keep writing and writing about how awesome it is to be an only child – what a charismatic person you end up being, how great it is to have all the toys for yourself, etc, etc. Let me tell you the brutal truth! Being an only child sucks big time!
Ok, fair enough, you had everything for yourself, even if by everything we’re referring to dolls or action figures, or even that small lake cottage that you adored and didn’t want to divide by any potential sibling, but you had to pay the biggest price of all. The so-called absolute boredom, which could never be cured and some responsibility bonuses, since you couldn’t share them with anyone in the family.
Should I start from childhood? An only child knows well how it feels like to desperately look for someone to play with and to hardly ever succeed in it. In the very end, we all ended up creating imaginary friends in the house, who replied back to us in the worst case scenarios. Should I mention the board games irony? Your parents bought you piles of them and you ended up playing against yourself, because grown-ups had better things to do. How can we even forget playing monopoly with ourselves and losing at the very end?
Should I continue with summer siesta-time? Oh my, the most boring thing on earth. You were obliged to be quiet in order not to wake anyone up. Ha, ha, ha! As if you could make noises while talking to yourself. Big time success! Those afternoons felt like being stuck behind bars. Let’s not forget that you were never allowed to go out of the house because you would be harmed by either the evil sun or the evil neighbor who wanted to give you drugs or steal your kidneys.
Things would only get worse if you didn’t have cousins around the same age. Not to mention that you have to learn everything by yourself, from cool music to self-defense in cases of school fights. Isn’t it totally unfair to struggle that much when others didn’t break a sweat?
Oh, sweet puberty! Not… You had no one to back you up when you smoked your first cigarette or when you went out on a date. You ended up either doing nothing or becoming an evil mastermind and getting a PhD in “Lying to my parents”. You are lucky if you did the latter.
When it came to family fights, you were always the loser. You were the youngest and forever alone; and even though you were right, it was as if you never knew what the hell you were talking about.
These are actually the less severe cases when being an only child sucks. If you belong to the families that didn’t have the chance to be united, rich and prosper, you carried the baggage of all the responsibilities and you were the scapegoat, for the plain reason that there was no one else available. Everyone expected everything from you, simply because there wasn’t anyone else around to hope for.
Criticism can also be harder, because there is no other comparison than perfection.
Are you still sure that you are jealous of only children?