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If you are a member of a large group, you’ve probably heard this before- every group has its’ own “psychologist”. This is the person that gets everyone, usually in no time. This is also the person that is always there to talk about any issue that arises. Oh, and don’t forget, this is also the person everyone secretly trusts with their problems.

How do I know that? Let’s see what’s going on usually in a group of friends. There is the one who is always dead serious and always has the need to keep everyone in check (in plain words, the typical brooding human). There is the one who is always good at making jokes and acting silly, and has no time at all for a serious conversation. There is the one who is always miserable and complaining about everything (also known as drama queen). And the cherry on top arrives with the person that combines seriousness, laughter and some sadness altogether; this is one who knows how to adapt in a context. Needless to say, they are the one to offer some balance.

When it is necessary, they will make you laugh. Other times they will complain with you about something that is frustrating; but let me tell you this. They are the ones that out of nowhere, are able to tell you the truth you’ve been so afraid to face. They are not afraid to tell it exactly as it is, even when they are perfectly aware that you’re not going to like it. They can smack your ass when you’re behaving badly, but also give you the gold star when you’re doing the right thing.

Sometimes, you find yourself asking how they do it. It seems so hard to understand everyone all the time; or at least, putting yourself in the position to understand them. When you’re sitting with them, you know that they are extremely careful of each and every word you’re going to use. They observe you closely, studying your body language. This is why it is so difficult for you to fool them and tell them later that nothing is wrong; hey buddy, you won’t be able to hide. No need for all the fake statements of “I’m fine, nothing is wrong!”.

You know it in your heart that they got you from the minute you sat down. And I know, you get frustrated with that because you can’t keep anything hidden from them. It gets even more annoying when you feel like they’re always analyzing you. Trust me, they do; but not in the way you think.

They don’t cling to every single word that you may utter – they know that this can’t be enough. Instead, they just know how to get everything out of you using plain and simple conversation. Everything that they need to know will come out eventually – so why spoil the fun? You won’t be able to tell anyway. A hint of information: when most of the times you think they analyze you, they don’t. Really, they don’t; they select the moments to do it when usually people are relaxed and unprompted. Because they know when you have your guard up or not.

I know, I know. It’s infuriating; but even though you “hate” them for it, you also love them for understanding you better than anyone. You feel grateful when they are there supporting you, and you respect them for always being able to treat people differently than the others.

They seem to completely comprehend something that most people don’t – human nature itself. And because they know it, they have a behavior that is unlikely the circumstances sometimes – or most of the time.

They just get all of it – the good, the bad, the confusing, the frustrating; and the parts of people that lie. And instead of getting even, or behaving even worse to people that hurt them, they just pull back and try to what? Yeap, you got it – understand. And when they do, then they get ready to fight back with fortitude and courage; not to cause the same pain, but to give themselves the ability to forgive everyone that has hurt them.

How do I know that? Well, hello there – I’m one of them. The “psychologist” usually found in groups, and a psychologist in real life because I “just get it”.

Nice to meet you – and by the way, I know that I get on your nerves when I’m analyzing you. But let me assure you that I’m the one who is going to listen. Always.

 

Author: Victoria A. Dimou

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