Character above everything else

“I believe in the goodness found inside people. I believe in kindness, trust, loyalty, empathy, honesty… I believe that character is what defines our relationships. It is what you see in the other person, what really counts at the end of the day”.

That’s what I said one good old day, some time ago. But I didn’t say it just for the sake of saying something; I realized that I actually meant it — and believed it with all my heart. I think this belief is what defines me; it makes me who I am. Some people go through hell and lots of shit, getting hurt by this whole process; then they start hurting others, believing that’s the way it goes, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Where there was once kindness or softness, or real exposure of feelings and the self, now there is apathy. The same people just get up and start the battle with everything and anyone along the way. Some other people though go through the same hell, get hurt in the same way but still you just see the pain being transformed into gold, into empowerment. They use it as a means to learn, to grow, to develop- whether it was a mistake or something that needs to be left in the past. “Making amends” I think they call it; or moving forward. They let it hurt, let it heal and let it go once and for all.

And this is what I believe in. The true development of character. The one that gives you the conscience of not circling around destroying other people or their lives. Or their souls. It’s that thing that keeps you awake at night, making you think that you too have the ability to transform into a totally careless person – yet you don’t do it. You always have the choice to stand up and hurt someone on purpose, or with a plan… yet you don’t do it again. This is where the difference between people lies; and yes, it’s a big one.

One may say that character doesn’t depend only on our difficult times. But I’ve never seen anyone being challenged on the good, sunny days. You have a good laugh, you’re mostly carefree. But when the clouds set in, and it finally rains, you are forced to contemplate what the hell you’re doing here on this planet. You are forced to deal with the adversity, the misery, the pain; and these things demand from you to be felt. But mostly, they ask you the most uncomfortable questions, the ones you’re scared to answer yourself. Avoidance may be good for a while but in the end, you have to give a reply back. One way, or another you’re answering – and it doesn’t have to do with words.

You reply to those questions with the way you behave. Towards to others, towards yourself. You might end up being the villain, the asshole or the careless monster hidden deep inside, waiting to be unleashed – thirsty to regain power and get revenge. You can end up being the better person though, letting it destroy you for a while but learning from it in the end and use it for your development.

You can use it for fuel, for food- soul food. Soul food for your kindness, trust, loyalty, empathy and honesty. Yes, I know that these things “are hard to be found today”.

But it all depends to which side of us we’re delivering the food I’m talking about.

We all have a good and a bad side.

So, I have two questions for you:

Who do you want to be on this planet?  And… which side of yours is going to eat the food?