What's it going to take to make you miserable?

Wake up, you piece of shit.

Get up, move, out of bed now. Go wash your face, brush your teeth, get dressed up, eat breakfast and watch TV before you go to work. Follow the same route to your workplace, staring, like a zombie, at this world, feeling like it has nothing to offer you. Listen to the same radio stations, the same people talking and reporting the same negative news they deliver day after day. Fall once again into this trap of negativity bias and just remember all the ugly things happening in our world, in your life.

At work, don’t forget to check your Facebook page a hundred times to check what everyone else is doing and above all keep feeling worthless. Don’t even think about it – you can’t be productive, you can’t be resourceful, you can’t be ambitious. You are destined to work for the dream of someone else, not yours. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Period. And when you’re done with work, go back at home and have dinner. Almost the same, tasteless dinner you have each night totally pissed at yourself for gaining weight again, and wondering why you can’t have a nice figure. Or nice clothes. Or generally, be beautiful just like everybody else. Everybody else got this, they are beautiful; not you.

With your friends, keep being dismissive, boring or fully egotistical. Keep talking about the same things, which of course, are only your problems. Don’t ask about how they are doing, or offer help, or be there for them no matter what. Just look about what you want from them, and take advantage of it. And, by all means, do the same when you meet a “special” someone. Put on a very good show to them—you got it all figured out, you’re an amazing, (totally fucked up) piece of shit.

Keep playing for as long as it lasts; never share your deepest thoughts, or a nice word with them. Don’t be spontaneous, just act like you don’t care. They all want to take advantage of you anyway, right? They’re all like that. Be completely shallow; that is trick and fuck with them in every single way. With their head, with their life… everything. And when they finally leave you, blame them for abandoning you and for them being unable to love you the way they should.

The same thing applies to your family as well.

You won’t have any interests of your own or hobbies. You can’t do it anyway. You will just settle for what is the most popular and suck it up. Don’t go to pick up a sport or to the gym. You will everyone’s good joke and laugh of the day. You’re going to show up like this? Look at you. Just go and watch some TV, it’s better. Yeah, in that same spot of yours with your butt imprint on it. Don’t forget to feel miserable.

Oh, and don’t look in the mirror—there isn’t anything good to gaze at anyway.

When all your dreams come to the surface, ignore them; you were never able to achieve them. When something in you tells you to do something about it, snub it and go eat something, it will pass. It’s just a glitch. This is how your life should be, and you don’t deserve any more than that. Deal with it.

But on Facebook, keep acting cool. Okay?

It doesn’t get any better than this, don’t get your hopes up. And if you do, let me remind you again that it is for everybody else, but not you. Now, go watch some TV.

This is your life you piece of shit.
Deal with it.

Sincerely,

Your self-doubt and low self-esteem… (always, in your favor).