Know why “romance” is often such a heart-breaking affair? People check out a booty they like, first thing they do is think how they’re gonna hit it (whether we’re talking about male or female, the same applies. You girls may not be checking out his booty, but don’t tell me you’re not eyeing those biceps). They’re so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they don’t stop to think if they should. (Yes, I did just quote Jurassic Park).
Dating, see, is just like business. Some are in the market looking for a fast buck, others for a long-term relationship. Transactions between these two tend to be bad business – somebody’s getting the short end of the stick. Too much bad business hurts the economy; stock markets plummet, firms go bankrupt, panic ensues, people jump off roofs, you get the point. Drama.
That’s why, in my books, clarity’s king – despite how hard it can be to deal with.
Don’t know where to start? Know thyself, dummy. Before anything else, you have to take a long, hard look at yourself and figure out what you’re in the market for.
It’s not a bad thing to want just a tumble in the hay, you know. Just good fun, no strings attached, great effort-to-value ratio, if you catch my drift. Maybe you just wanna fuck. Who doesn’t?
Likewise, some people are into more intimate affairs; they crave to love and be loved and feel warm and fuzzy inside. They ask for trust and stability, and who can blame them? If that’s what makes them happy, well, live and let live.
There’s a whole spectrum of relationship flavors out there; one-night stands, friends with benefits, casual sex partners, garden-variety couples, passionate lovers, let’s-get-married crazies – not to mention some of the more unconventional stuff. So what on earth is a guy (or gal!) to do?
*Little harp-fondling cherub poofs on right shoulder*
“My personal advice? Decide in which of those crowds you belong and make it crystal clear to any potential partner. Make sure you see eye to eye. That’s how you maximize that effort-to-value ratio you mentioned earlier and minimize the heartbreak and the drama. You don’t want to hurt yourself or anyone else, do you?”
*Little nasty devil poofs on right shoulder, cunning twinkle in his eye*
“Dude, you do wanna get laid, right? See that bombshell across the street? Walk up to her, open your mouth and spew whatever it is that will get her wet for you. One-night-stand type? You’re a fuckin’ stallion. Goody-two-shoes? Well, fuckin’ propose, if you have to. You’ll thank me later. It will all work out the way you want it in the end. And if it doesn’t, tough titties. All’s fair in love and war, brah. If you don’t grab her, someone else will!”
*I shoo both the little fuckers away, they’re ruining my mojo*
So, as I rather graphically and ham-fistedly just implied, a guy (or gal) is to do whatever his (or her – this is getting tiring) conscience dictates.
Offering and demanding crystal clarity is a very good way to avoid getting into drama, misunderstandings and doomed-to-fail affairs, but it has quite a price tag attached to it; you’ll miss on many, many potential flings.
On the other hand, a little deception can go a long way. Waiting for the right match to turn up can be much more enjoyable with someone – or a string of someones – to warm your bed and heart, even if they do so in a half-assed way. And if things don’t work out and there’s some collateral damage, well, you’ll put your big kid pants on and deal with it.
Verdict? The same as always;
Do whatever the hell your heart tells you to, just be aware of the risks and accept the consequences.
Author: Chris Wilkins
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