When you're not clear about your emotions

Those three little words so hard to say; yet so easy if they are true.

So what do women want? The age old question. Here are some questions that may help you understand what women want – and what they don’t. It’s inevitable that men admire and desire women, in their minds, but when they are vocal in front of their partners women feel confused.

All sorts of things run through our minds like the curious creatures we are. Here are some:

Why is it that he calls other girls “gorgeous”, “beautiful”, “a solid 10 out of 10”, “sexy”, “hot” and “pretty”? Why is it when I show him my picture and I ask “hot or not?” he replies with a laugh and comments that he shouldn’t need to answer that. Why is it when I say I love him, he replies with I don’t need to say it, I show you how I feel by how I treat you.

So what is it? He fell for my personality. He says I’m sweet and kind. He says I’m funny. He says he finds it really hard to use and say the word love yet he can easily say it to those he loves.

Why is he waiting? What is he waiting for what? To dump me in case things change? Why does he say he wants to share adventures with me and have lots of fun with me including some intimacy with others? So I’m trying to work out if I’m his best “friend with benefits” or am I the woman he wants and adores.

Does he treasure me? Does his heart beat for me? I was told by a good friend to take the chance –and the risk– and fall in love. If I fall in love with him will it only hurt me because he wont fall in love with me? I want to fall in blissful love. I want full on passionate intimate soulful love from him. But he doesn’t seem up to giving it.

Why am I waiting and why aren’t I walking away? Why can’t –or won’t– he say he loves me?

His silence says it all really.

He either doesn’t love me or there is something stopping him. I’ve tried my best to tell him how I feel and I get no response – that or a nervous laugh. I know he shows me his feelings by what he does for me but I’m not sure he knows how he truly feels.

Does he not think I’m worthy of his love? Does he think I’m not the girl for him and his heart? Is there something I’m doing wrong? What’s happened? In the beginning he was full of compliments and happy that he had found me. I’m not sure why he doesn’t want to be like that anymore?

I just don’t want to hear about how nice and beautiful other girls are. I don’t care if he thinks it, but I would like to hear that I’m his girl; the only one he adores and loves. I’m feeling so secondary.

I don’t care how much other people appear to love me, or even how much they say so – it’s much more important to me that my partner does. I don’t need love from others, but I do need to hear I’m loved by the one person my heart belongs to. I deserve that much and I feel I’m worthy of it. And sometimes, it’s not what he does; it’s what he doesn’t do.

The old cliché…

All I want is to be put at ease and hear him say how he feels. He does do so much for me that I’m so dearly grateful for. It’s just that this verbal admiration of other women, one that is not yet directed at me, hurts. The lack of him expressing it, with words, makes it easy for me to fear of its existence. I find myself thinking “Why am I not special enough to him to hear him say how he feels?” Yes, I hear it from others; I’m often told how happy he says he is. Why can’t he tell me directly from time to time?

Especially when I ask him – what makes it so hard for him? We have telepathy,  we think the same, speak the same, feel the same… However we also have the same scars, the same pain, the same fears, the same hesitation. The more I get to know him the more I realize. However it’s clarity and a concise commitment that’s needed.

Many of us plod along in happy and fun relationships; ones in which we feel such a strong connection. Yet the verbal acknowledgement of feelings seems to lack.

Is it fear of being told what we don’t want to hear?

Or perhaps it’s reality we don’t want to face.

I don’t need fancy things and diamond rings. I don’t need to feel compared or confused.
All I need is to hear the three simple words that are the hardest thing to say; yet so easy if they are true.