Sorry seems to be your favorite word

“I’m sorry.”

One sentence, countless assholes.

Surely you know what I’m talking about, right? We’ve all had these people in our lives. Someone who keeps fucking us up and the comes begging for forgiveness, with puppy-dog eyes and out favorite candy. And we, like the caring cinnamon rolls we are, forgive them and let them back in our lives. Just to have them destroy us time and time again while we sit in the corner trying to understand how on earth we actually believed they’d changed.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about every day accidents or mistakes made along the way. Of course a friend will accidentally break our fridge or lose our favorite shirt. Your mom may hit you with the frying pan while she’s trying to cook and I’m certain your brother or sister will lock you in the bathroom –alright – wait, this may not be by accident. These are everyday things that happen all the time; they’re inevitable.

Likewise other, bigger, mistakes will be made too. You’ll hurt a friend and they’ll hurt you back. Your lover may start irrational fights, your parents will not be able to understand you and you will throw a tantrum for no real reason. Hurting others and getting hurt is normal and inescapable; it’s just how human relationships work. The difference is that we also have the ability to learn from our mistakes as to not repeat them in the future.

Your local asshole though, will not learn a thing. And not because their leaning abilities suck; no. That would be excusable; you can’t blame someone for a disability like that. They just refuse to change for the better. They’ll keep treating you like shit, hurting you and giving no fucks until the next time they need you. That’s when they come knocking on your door, sweet but fake smile plastered on and that pat on the shoulder, followed by “You’re not mad, are you? Silly, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry!”

What’s the point of saying you’re sorry when in reality, you’re not?

I can’t help but wonder if these people really believe everyone around them is stupid. Newsflash, we’re not. We can see that no, you have no intention of changing your hurtful attitude.

Forgiving people who aren’t genuine in their apologies is a never-ending cycle; they’ll just keep hurting you, repeating their mistakes simply because they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. It’s pointless to apologize when you don’t mean it. You’re diminishing the meaning of the phrase “”I’m sorry”.” Unnecessary attempts to get some to grant you their forgiveness. What for? You’re not going to change, so why do you keep trying so hard? Sorry mate but you can’t have it all. You can’t treat people like shit and expect them to be okay with your repetitive abuse. You’re not sorry and that’s okay. You have every right to not regret your mistakes.

But guess what? Those people you keep hurting have every right to not accept your apology and that’s the normal reaction; once is a mistake, twice is a choice. And since you chose to act a certain way, you’re gonna have to face the consequences, like it or not. After a while, those around you will realize that you’ve got no intention of changing your ways and, in return, they’ll change the way they treat you. They will hold a grudge against you and, to be fair, who can blame them? No one’s going to just sit around and watch you make them feel like shit again and again. It’s human nature really: We do what we have to do to survive and trust me, mental health is essential for that.

If you are one of those people, those cold-hearted manipulators, don’t expect any pity for me. And don’t expect any pity the one time you will actually be sorry. Your apologies will sound like empty promises because just like the poor shepherd boy, no one’s going to believe you.