Love triangles have never been my thing; actually they’re my absolute worst. Who wants to be trapped between two relationships, two lovers; two lives? No one. But sometimes it’s inevitable. You can’t escape love, it has a way of finding you even when you don’t want to be found. Even when you’re hiding in the dark or in our case even when you’re already seeing someone else. I’m sure it has happened to you too at some point of your life.
You’re dating someone else and theoretically you don’t want, or need, anything more. But then out of the blue someone walks into your life. Maybe at first you aren’t attracted to this person or you think that they’re not your type, but in the end feelings emerge. And when feelings get complicated life gets hard.
There’s nothing more shameful than falling for someone you shouldn’t fall for. Of course, no one goes down without a fight. You start avoiding that person, you begin being rude to them or maybe you even talk shit about them. You do anything within your power to prove to people around you how much you don’t care about them.
When you’re in a happy and healthy relationship it’s not that hard to keep your distance; your partner keeps you content. But when you’re in a dysfunctional relationship, you need a shoulder to cry on. It’s just that, that said shoulder, happens to belong to the person you’ve fallen for.
Of course you decide you can’t let it grow, you can’t let your feelings overwhelm you. Even if nothing happens between you and your forbidden fruit your fantasy still runs wild; scenes of you two being intimate haunt your waking hours and keep appearing in your dreams. It feels like you’re cheating but without the pleasure.
It’s actually worse than cheating because, even though your partner has nothing to pin on you, you still feel like you’ve betrayed them. It’s frustrating to feel like you have no control over your life; because that’s what being stuck in a love triangle feels like. You want to pull your hair and punch the ‘third’ person in the face before kissing them into oblivion. You spend countless sleepless nights, pacing around your house like a trapped animal, always trying to find a way out.
And then someone notices and people start talking. They keep talking about how your poor boyfriend or girlfriend has no idea you’ve turned them into reindeers -even if you haven’t. They whisper when you walk past them and they give you side-ways glances. It’s so humiliating that it makes you think that even the witches of Salem had it better. You keep denying it at first but in the end you know you can’t hide your feelings forever.
The big question is, what do you do when you realize you’ve fallen in love with someone other than your partner?
Like the dungeon key-master I am, I’ll spare you with the answer. You accept it. You embrace your love and you let people know. But first and foremost you let the person you’re dating know. I know it sounds scary and you’d rather hide in a hole but it’s the only way the weight will be lifted off your shoulders. You have to utter the words “I’m in love with someone else.”
The rest depends on you and your partner; maybe they’ll accept it and help rekindle the flame between you or maybe they’ll break up with you. No matter the case you’ve done the right thing and there’s nothing to feel sorry about.
You can’t help who you fall in love with. It’s beyond your power and sometimes it happens without you even noticing until it’s too late. You can’t blame yourself for loving someone; because love happens. It happens whether you want it or not and suppressing your feelings just magnifies them. After all, we always want the one that we can’t have.
Author: Matina Tsouma
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