When you hear the words lovers, partners, relationship there’s always the same thing that comes to your mind; two people who are in love and dating, taking care of each other and loving each other. It’s a fact that every relationship, and all of them as a whole, can’t work if there are more than two people involved. And how could it? It would be a constant competition between those involved, always trying to gain their mutual partner’s complete and full devotion.
Jealousy, anger and other petty feelings like that would take over and the so-called relationship would go down the drain along with the dreams of every respectable young man who wishes to have a harem of loving girlfriends worshiping him – and occasionally, maybe, each other too.
We all the think that a relationship can’t work without the magic number two. And for the majority of people it can’t. This is because we simply can’t think that way; we haven’t learned to share and appreciate. But there are those heroes who can make it work.
Have you ever heard of the term Polyamory? According to Wikipedia: “Polyamory is the practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.”
As you can see, we are not talking about having more than one strictly sexual relationship, but more than one relationship which have and emotional and loving ground as well.
It sounds strange, unusual and completely abnormal. But is Polyamory really something completely new? Think about it. Does the concept of having more than one loving and sexual partners at a time sound unfamiliar? Not so much.
Maybe this “practice” doesn’t take place in broad daylight but instead in dark rooms, small houses and other confined spaces like that. Both the sexual and loving part happen in complete secrecy, without a single soul knowing, without the participants speaking a word about it.
I have to admit, one part is luckier than the other. Because one lover gets the daylight attention, the photos, the trips, the vacation; they are the show case. The other one, the unlucky one, enjoys the pleasures of the night-time visits and the guilty gifts for the time spend apart. So, as you can see, some of us have been practicing polyamory for a long long time. The only difference? We’re lacking the element of consent and most importantly, knowledge.
Polyamory is nothing like cheating and that’s what confuses people. The idea that more than two people could be together, all involved in one relationship and fully aware of what is happening is something completely strange. Yet we have no problem in accepting and even justifying cheating.
Some people have many needs that can’t be covered by the same person. Maybe their boyfriend/girlfriend is an excellent partner in general but can’t satisfy them in bed, so they need to seek pleasure in other people. It’s hard to be tied to only one person, some of us need variety and so on. It’s problematic to back up cheating as something normal while we’re not able to accept that some people can, and will, make it work without the magic number two.
The more the merrier the say and if you can deal with that who are we to stand in your way of finding happiness?
It’s about time that we learn the difference between cheating and Polyamory. It’s about time we realized that it’s okay to not be satisfied with one lover. It’s okay to have needs and desires that require variety and abudance in order for you to feel content. All you have to do is seek for the right people, those who are open-minded and don’t lack confidence.
For, in order to make a relationship with three or more people work, you need to be sure of yourself and not engage in jealousy and competitive games of love; you should be able to love, accept and give while being able to not give a fuck about those who have an annoying comment on the tip of their tongue.
Author: Matina Tsouma
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