elena270716

I take a long drag from the joint between my fingers and, my mind blurry from the thoughts of you mixed with the smoke, I see our moments together; one by one. I drink too much alcohol – anything I can get my hands on and I see your smile in every single drop that enters my mouth. I can even taste you. I cook, smelling the spices mixed with my mind which is running miles away to our moments when I used to prepare your favorite meals.

You are everywhere.

At the office, I enjoy my morning coffee, black, to help me get through the day and I see your image in the dark depths of the spilled liquid. I inhale the smoke from cigarettes with my coffee and you are still there; giving shape to the swirling smoke that travels upwards to the ceiling. The chirping of the birds outside my window at dawns awakens me and I imagine how much more blissful it would be if I had you by my side that very moment.

You are everywhere.

I lay in my bed and, in my sleep, I see the things we lived together and the dreams we made replay time after time like a movie. I get up from bed and the thought of your face is the first thing I wake up to. I read and your name is written all over the pages that flip past my eyes.

You are everywhere.

We take a long drag from the joint between our fingers, spread out on the couch relaxing. I have you –in reality– laid before my eyes even through my utopia. We drink our rum together and we laugh through our tears from the stories we share. I no longer have the need to observe the drops from my drink. We cook together helping each other out –splitting the work in half– and we create new moments for me to daydream about.

You are by my side.

At the office, I have my hot coffee in one hand and with the other I text you about my day, totally ignoring the spilled coffee falling from my cup. In the evening we sit outside on the balcony together enjoying a cigarette and behind the thick smoke, I see your face clearly smiling down at me. From the open window, we listen to the chirping of the birds and you mimic them; failing of course and I laugh until my stomach hurts.

You are by my side.

We lay together in bed at night after a long day –and night, of course– and I don’t need to dream anymore; I have you in my arms. We wake up all tangled up with each other and the first thing I hear is your warm voice in my ear and I feel your hot breath tickling me to start my day. I read my novels with your head on my knees while you read your own comics that you cherish so much.

You are by my side.

You are here and nowhere simultaneously. In every move, every breath. With you in reality – or just in my mind; present everywhere, like you are a part of me. Like you were always there. Before you… I don’t think about that anymore, I don’t even remember that time; as if there was no past before you.

As if I started a brand new life. As if I woke from a dream into a way too realistic that became my reality now.

I don’t know if there is any logic in that. Some call it love. I don’t. I cannot express it with words.

I fear that; it terrifies me. What if I suddenly wake up and I’m back to the same old with your presence only in my mind, then what? How do I move on without you? You are always with me in every step of the way.

So, please don’t ever leave me. Stay!

Author: Elena Vasiliou

Leave a comment!

Do you have an article suggestion?

Feel free to send us your suggestion about an article you would like to read.