Don’t you ever get tired of people constantly judging you, criticizing your every move, habit, or opinion? They automatically perceive you as a bad person; as mean or as a slut and whatnot. Never do they wonder what made each person react in the exact way they do, never have they thought, even for a second, that there might be an explanation for their behavior, some reason behind it; not to justify their actions, but to see why they act like they do.
Our past shapes who we become, our past experiences, and things we go through – things that scarred us and left their mark on our souls – they drive our actions today. They made us evolve, become crueler or kinder, more giving or more reserved, stronger or weaker!
Especially when it comes to relationships, romances, and love. Don’t we always get more hurt over stuff related to our loved once rather than random strangers or just acquaintances? Of course, we do, because we care for them with our whole existence.
We tend to judge people – myself included; even if I try not to – who cheat, who are unfaithful, cruel to their lovers, who show little to no emotions. And we are wrong at that. Have we ever experienced what they did? Did we try to step into their shoes, put ourselves in their position, and try to think what we would have done if we were in the same situation?
Think of someone who beats their loved one. We always say they are cruel, uncaring, and shouldn’t be in a damn relationship and treat them like that. No one deserves it. But do we know what drove them to such behavior? Do we know if maybe their fathers did things like that to their mothers or siblings, teaching them, consciously or unconsciously, that that is how things are supposed to be? Or even traumatizing them, making them act like savages, scarring their souls? Sure enough, such behavior is not justified by any means, no one should be treated like that, but maybe – just maybe – there is an explanation behind their actions.
Or those who are unfaithful, how did they come to be as such? Did their parents or those who surround them make them believe that this is fine, common, action, and not a bad move that hurts those they love? Or maybe they were cheated on, and this created insecurities in them making them take it out this way on their next lover.
Some become womanizers just to prove their worth, or to be sure that they won’t get hurt again. Burying their feelings deep inside to prevent further heartache. Never showing the slightest affection, never again giving a part of themselves – of their heart and soul – to someone else, afraid their lover will break it into a million pieces and leave them with a hole in them.
On the other hand, there are those who are so sweet and caring, always placing their lover above themselves and doing everything for them. Most everyone admires them, and speak the kindest words about them, but still there are those who would say they are fools for being so good and never holding back, to save themselves the heartache. They must know a thing or two, though.
Those are the kind of people who didn’t suffer so they do not feel the need to be reserved and give their everything to those they love. Or they did suffer, but rose above it all stronger and more determined, deciding never to stop trying and keep on being optimistic about life.
Either way – good or bad – society, and people in general –sometimes even those closest to you– will keep judging you unfazed.
Do not mind them, you and only you know what really drives you to do what you do, even if it does not justify your actions. May every one of us learn at some point to take a step back, give people the benefit of a doubt and learn what they have been through before hastily jumping to conclusions.
Author: Elena Vasiliou
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