elena010616

Lots of times I catch myself wondering: what if things were different? What if I had made a different decision at that critical moment? All of these what-ifs stuck in my mind, regarding me, along with others as well.

Someone once told me “It’s better to savor the moment and take your time instead of rushing into things”. Well, that someone was me, talking to myself. That is what life taught me. Rushing towards a goal, a decision or a relationship can end badly.

But if you take your time with it, it’s almost certain that things will turn out for the better. Sure enough, you have got to take risks, act in the spur of the moment –just not for a life-changing decision. Like quitting your job, getting married, having children, or getting a divorce, for example. Especially when it comes to all relationship-related decisions and feelings.

Many of my friends, family, or acquaintances, are always rushing towards a relationship, towards marriage and creating a family; even at a young age. And that just seems wrong. I am not criticizing here, just stating a fact that I learn the hard way. Most of them end up hurt, though I must confess, there are some exceptions to the rule.

They meet someone, develop feelings – minor once at the beginning– and then, without much thought, fall headfirst into a relationship, never giving themselves the chance to get to know their partner first. At some point, things escalate. A baby may be on the way – which is by mistake mostly – and there you have it, flowers, wedding dresses, and the groom set. A wedding is ready in no time at all.

As the years pass, they get tired of the routine they have fallen into. They discover that their characters don’t really match. Fights, and only fights, are at the top of their everyday “to-do list”. And here comes the divorce, the child going back and forth from one parent to the other. So many experiences lost, so many future mistakes, just because of one rushed decision.

As I have said above, there are always exceptions to the rule, there are those who marry happily ever after, and spend the rest of their days in a lovey-dovey atmosphere.

But for those who do suffer from these rash decisions, wouldn’t it ultimately have been better had they taken things more slowly? If they had taken their time to get to know each other they could have saved themselves from a world of grief.

Be in a relationship if that is a must for them, but without the label of “being together”, they could date, go out, stay at each other’s place.

Get to know one another from the top to the bottom. Learn about the good and bad in each other’s lives. See if a prospective relationship could last; if it could turn into something more serious. Maybe not marriage, but sharing a place maybe.

This way, they would prevent the hurt and regret that was to come. They would know what they can’t stand about the others’ behavior, and how to work things out for the better. They could create a home, a loving family, always having the knowledge in the back of their minds that they can get through a rough patch; that they did it before and succeeded.

And if they don’t seem to belong together? Well, then they can break up before it’s too late, prevent regret from getting them. They can move on, meet new people, and find the one they are fully compatible with.

Moments in life are to be savored and cherished, not mudded by regret, heartache, and bad feelings. Maybe taking a long way, is taking the right way; the path towards happiness.

Author: Elena Vasiliou

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