Once a cheater, always a cheater...?

Cheating … Have you ever thought about it? What drives some people to cheat on their companions? What could be the logic or reasons behind it? Most of us; I think not. We just assume they are bad in that way and don’t care about the feelings of others, so they are unfaithful anyhow.

And I agree, some might do so without a second thought, not giving a damn if others are affected by such actions. But, not all. There are many logical explanations as to why someone may cheat, and this is what we care about the most; why they did what they did.

Let us think about it. Think it through and in detail, get deeper into things and uncover the reasons.

Some have it embedded in their DNA; it’s just how they were born. In their minds, nothing is out of the ordinary and they do not see a reason as to why this act may be a bad one and have a negative effect on the lives of their companions. For them it is like any other activity, like breathing or doing something to have fun. It might seem necessary to them, just like breathing, to have multiple partners. Or they do it just because it pleases them, like anything else they might do for self-satisfaction.

On the other hand, there are those who have always been very faithful to their partners, but suddenly, these changes and they turn into predators looking for prey. They might be having a difficult time in their existing relationship. Even a previous relationship might have been the trigger, or having been cheated on themselves, so this drives them to change their view of things and prefer to hurt others before they hurt them. Hurt or be hurt.

Or they have never even been in love, or in a relationship, and when they finally do find themselves in one, because of what they see happening around them, they have insecurities and feel that they cannot let themselves be free, but use cheating as a safeguard.

Even as an affirmation, that others notice and like them, want to be with them and so their self-esteem is high. Think about it, if someone close to you got heartbroken due to their partner cheating on them does this not make you change your views about some things? You don’t want to have this hurt in your life as well – even if you never know for sure that this will happen – but as a mechanism to prevent it and safeguard yourself, you do it first, so that you know that even if someone cheats on you, you got to them before they did!

But that is not all.

There is another group, the ones who are in a lovely relationship, or not, but whichever the status of the relationship, they just do not feel whole and fulfilled in it. And this drives them towards seeking new adventures.

It’s in our nature to be curious as creatures, us humans. We always want to try new things, or we get bored easily. So, when our partner doesn’t give us all that we want, or we don’t feel whole when we are with them, we are bound to look elsewhere for what is missing. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s either party’s fault that they are not satisfied and want something new; it’s just how things work and what each one of us is expecting from the other.

That’s a basic and vital reason why lots of relationships end badly, or the partners are driven towards cheating. It seems like a way to end the misery and gives us the satisfaction of trying new things to fill up the hole left from the situation we are in.

Every day, even the smallest actions or things that happen to each of us, shape our minds and the way we react and view certain situations. We always assume that a cheater is a bad person, or has negative traits, as I already said above, but we don’t have the full picture.

So are they really?

Shouldn’t we all take a step back and decide for ourselves what we shall do, what we would do if we were the other person, if things were the other way around, before judging?

They say once a cheater, always a cheater.

But is that really the way it goes?