We hear so often that “timing is everything” and if you don’t believe me, ask any heartbroken lover. They will swear by this cliché.
Timing and time in general, whether we talk about frequency or the right moment, takes the blame for everything we can’t achieve, for every single thing that goes out of hand and ultimately out of our control.
But, what about the so-called “perfect timing”? Is there such a thing and is there one for motherhood? In other words, is there a perfect time to become a mother or you‘re just making excuses, unable to settle down and lose your current lifestyle?
Although most doctors agree that physiologically the late teens or early twenties are the best age to be a mother, there are much more factors to put into consideration.
And society’s pressure shouldn’t be one of them.
All right, all right, I know the drill. In our day and age we can finally tell to our pushing Aunt Trudy “mind your own business” (the “cow” in the end is not necessary), society can still be cruel and very demanding.
It starts in your early 20s. You know, these irritating little hints about how time flies and waits for no one and shit like that. As if motherhood is a train that passes from your window and you have to be ready to jump on it, otherwise you will not fulfil your purpose on Earth and you‘ll end up alone, eaten by your cats.
Yes, I know. That’s why I told you before,that in your decision to bring a baby into this world, society can’t play any role at all.
Neither should time. There is not a perfect time for anything, let alone for taking the single most important choice of your life.
There are both advantages and disadvantages in every age.
Let’s have a closer look. Of course, if we consider physiology, it’s better to wait until the age of 25 or 29 max. But that’s not all of it. Having a baby right after your teens, increases your chances to have a younger friend instead of a child. And if you tell me that you never felt jealous of Lorelai’s and Rory’s relationship in “Gilmore Girls”, you are obviously lying. That magical relationship when your daughter is simultaneously your best friend, can be achieved only (?) if your age difference is the right one.
And that’s not all, folks. Younger people seem to overcome every difficulty more effectively and it seems that nothing gets to them. So being a young mother means that you will overcome the unavoidable troubles with that “lovely” attitude. And as for the money? If you can live for months on just potatoes and pasta ‘cause you are saving for beer and purses, you can certainly save for your baby’s stuff. After all, Prada makes matching outfits for mommies and babies!
As far as the downsides are concerned, they are too easy to figure out. Just reverse the advantages and you will find out why giving birth to a baby, when you are almost a baby yourself can be a huge mistake.
All these sound nice, but what happens if you are waiting for the “right time”? It might be for your own good.
Let’s get something straight. That bloody biological clock doesn’t exist. It’s a social control device invented by an evil mastermind to push your stress levels off the charts. So if it doesn’t go off in time, don’t worry. It’s up to you to wait for that special urge to become a mother. And if that takes too long, nobody can blame you.
After all, if you wait enough, chances are that you are going to do everything more easily. In your early or even late 30s you will probably be a career woman, so funds will not be a problem. If anything, you will be mature enough to give this little person, everything it needs to become a useful member of society.
The downside? Time waits for no one and pregnancy itself could be very tricky at an older age.
It’s only human to be anxious about bringing a new life to this world, before even considering a financial plan and resources. If you are confident that you want a baby, you will definitely find a way to make it happen.
The most important question you need to ask yourself, is whether you’d be ready with all your heart to put at stake everything you now love in order to raise a kid and channel all your best emotions to it
If the answer is yes, just go for it and forget about timing.
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