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Born and raised in the Windy City, I was naturally a Cubs fan; way before the World Series. I knew baseball before any other sport and I could always swing a bat just as well as any of the boys. I also pitched better than most of them. To this day, give me a baseball and a bat and I can create chaos. I was old enough to remember the Bulls during their golden era. When the legendary #23 was in the starting lineup, during the Bulls’ “three-peat” in the NBA Championship. I was even old enough to remember the uproar his career change from basketball to baseball caused. Air-Jordan, the idol, moved into a sport that I adored. Even if that move was the most idiotic one of his career, and an utter failure ultimately.

Yawning already? Not one for baseball and basketball references? Okay, okay. I’ll wrap it up.

The bottom line is that, as in all sports and all games, baseball has a set of rules and an objective. Things are clean-cut and clear. There is no confusion. As you step out onto that field, you know exactly what you have to do and you know what your opponents aim to do as well. You know what to expect. Hit the ball, run your ass off, and try to “touch” and pass all three bases before you’re knocked into the dirt by someone on the other team. Steal a base or two if you can.

You don’t really have to understand sports to get the basic rule of the game though. You are given three pitches, three ball throws, three chances to hit the ball as successfully and as hard as you can so that you can score those bases. And if you don’t hit it, it’s a strike. Three strikes and you’re out.

Am I starting to make sense now?

Life is a game and each of us is a player. We all have our own skills, we each have our own personal goals and objectives, and we all play in different ways. No two teams are ever the same, no two games, no two championships.

Love is also a game. It’s meant to be fun. It’s meant to be amusing and fulfilling. It’s meant to make life just a bit better. And in love, as in sports, there are players and there are players. Amateurs and professional ones, little league players, and World Series Players. It all depends on how good you are at the game. There are those who take fair play into account and there are others who are dead set on winning at all costs.

And I respect that. Really, I do. I get why some choose to stay in the minors and why some aim for the cup. As long as the game is clean and you play by the rules.

For that reason, I set my own rules in the game early on. With “three strikes and you’re out” being my first and foremost. My love for baseball (and because I have an obsessive-compulsive issue with the number three) led me to take that one rule to heart and put it to use in every aspect of my life, from then, all the way up until now. And I guarantee that it will be my number one rule forever.

My Golden Rule of Three.
You get three screw-ups. Three chances make amends. Three shots.
Three strikes – then you’re out.

So here’s how it goes.

Starting out, getting to know someone from ground zero, can be an exciting, and equally frustrating, process. Every day a new layer is peeled away and you get tiny glimpses into the character, past, and personality of the person that has caught your eye and has begun stirring your feelings. Naturally, there will be little, and big, things that you adore. And things that you won’t. It all depends on what you can handle generally. Yet there will be things that you will consider deal-breakers. Things that the other person does -or doesn’t do- that you just can’t live with.

There are things you don’t know about each other. So they’ll fuck up. Oh, you will too, that’s certain. But will you just give up the first time they do? Or is it fair if they give up on you the first time you cross a line?

If you really like the person, the answer is no. And as your relationship progresses, and emotions start to arise, and you start to fall in love, the answer is no-no. Or no-no-no. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me a third – well, fuck you. One, two, three strikes – and you’re out. Next batter up. And the game goes on. That’s life.

Sounds cold and calculating? Impossible to put into effect in love, you say? No, it really isn’t. Give second chances. You never know if someone will get it right on the second try. What a pity it would be if you were to never find out they could. And, just for the hell of it, give them a third. If you love them, what more is there to lose anyway?

Besides, let’s be honest, it’s not so much about giving them a second chance, or a third for that matter; it’s about giving yourself a chance to be proven wrong. It’s about giving your choices, your dedication, and your emotions the chance to be proven right. I’m no altruist; there are no selfless acts in love. Whatever you do is just as much for yourself, for your own happiness, as for the other’s – if not more so.

But once you set the rules, follow them. Apply them to yourself first, then to your partner. Three strikes and you’re out is a good start as far as rules go.

After all, love’s a game. And what’s a game without a few rules to bend; and occasionally break?

Author: Nikól Peri

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