If you love me, just let me sleep

People are divided into two categories; and from those two stem all the rest. There are morning people, and then there are those that have homicidal tendencies in the morning.

Those who belong to the first group, jump out of bed singing and dancing, happy to be up with the sun, ready for another day. The others –who, in my opinion, are also a staggering majority of the population of this earth– are people who hate alarm clocks (it’s not a coincidence that alarm clocks are the most despised contraptions on this earth), chirping birds and the morning rays in their eyes.

Belonging to the latter group, I find that people who love to sleep are often mischaracterized. Especially given the fact that if you have the misfortune of being obligated for some reason to wake them, their death stare may just make you want to take out a new life insurance policy.

It’s not you, it’s us. For real.

It’s not they are lazy or sluggish – they may very well be one of the most energetic and active people you will ever meet– but in the back of their mind, all day, there is one thing: the moment they will fall back into their beds to rest. As a matter of fact, one that works long hours and has an exhausting schedule, not one who is laid-back and relaxed, is the one that values a good sleep more.

“Too often, the only escape is sleep.” said Charles Bukowski. I will not linger much on the pace of life we have nowadays, or the constant state of anxiety everyone seems to be in, but no one can deny that all of it takes a toll on us; mentally, psychologically, and physically. It seems that when we are in need of a safe haven, the first place we search for peace and quiet, is in our bed, in the oblivion sleep offers. It’s the only way to shut everything out, and shut everything down. (Except our subconscious, of course, which seems to compensate with crazy, incoherent dreams when we’re exhausted or drawn. But that’s another topic for another day.)

Physical exhaustion is cured with a couple of hours more in a night whereas mental and psychological is not. When the body is brought to the point of collapsing though, the mind is not far behind. Over-sleeping is the main sign of minor depression – the desire, and need, to sleep many hours, or to not get out of bed, even if the world around them is crumbling to pieces. But those are the extreme cases. Here, we’re simply talking about those who love to sleep.

Do you want to ruin someone’s day? Wake them up.

Especially if they don’t get enough sleep, or if they have the timetables of an insomniac vampire like yours truly. Just do yourself, and the rest of the world, a huge favor; if I’m finally asleep, don’t wake me up.

If you happen to be one of the unlucky people that for some reason has to wake one of us up then, Heaven help you. And DO NOT talk in our range of hearing until there’s a generous amount of caffeine in our system.

You see, there are those of us who maintain a teenage romance with dear Morpheus; we fight with him, break up, swear never to return to him because he has the worst effect on us, and then, at the very first opportunity, with the slightest excuse, we’re right back there, wrapped in his warm arms, reluctant to leave there even to eat. Yes, Morpheus is the one lover none of us would ever be unfaithful to.

And if for some reason these people are inclined to leave their beds for you, do yourself a favor and realize, early on, that you truly are important to them. If they wake up early to send you a text, or respond to yours, if they leave their warm and comfortable bed to get up and make you coffee or breakfast, if you have a morning coffee date and they’re on time, then you’re one lucky SOB. They really do care for you, have no doubt about it.

As for me, well…

There are 5 simple pleasures in life; number one of which is sleeping in until you have had enough to wake up completely on your own. In fact, my idea of Paradise is sleeping in on a Sunday (preferably after a long Saturday night), in a king-sized bed with 6 pillows and one of those extremely fluffy comforters you get lost in. Naturally, I’m not sleeping alone in that gigantic bed. The prospect of staying there, together, all day, doing nothing (well, maybe not nothing – a girl has to eat at some point, but you get the point) is what I consider the ultimate best day ever, completely wasted in the perfect way.

On any other day, when it comes to sleep, I’m not the type of person that’s all clingy and lovey-dovey. No – you’ve got your side buddy, and I’ve got mine. Stay there if you’re not coming close for a morning quickie (leading to simple pleasure #2). And for the love of God and all that’s Holy, do not wake me up unless it’s for that or you have coffee ready.

Better yet, you know what?

Don’t wake me up when September ends.
Don’t wake me up before you go, go.
Don’t wake me up when it’s all over.
Don’t wake me up inside.

Seriously; if you value your life, just don’t wake me up – ever.
If you love me, just let me sleep.