A few days ago, while I was sitting in a café and I was enjoying my coffee with a bunch of old friends, a couple, consisting of two men, walked by next to us, arm-in-arm. Not surprisingly, their passing didn’t go unnoticed as not only our group, but the ones surrounding us as well, started talking about them. To be honest, that day, I heard many opinions about gay couples; and most of them were really mean.
I live in a small, very traditional and old fashioned society, one that is just now opening up to acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community. The mindset of certain people are decades behind the times and anything “different” from what they are used to is handled with bias and prejudice. I have come to see lately, though, that it is not only my small hometown that has that way of thinking. It is, in fact, still a world-wide issue. One that has no basis or justification.
So, this time let’s talk about a totally controversial topic; a topic that we constantly contradict on our own -in my opinion- without an actual reason.
Well, love and gender preferences, or gender preferences and love. LGBTQ+s: Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgender, Queers + (and more).
First of all, let’s discuss who they are: they are people, like me, you and everyone else on this earth – plain and simple. Someone belonging to the LGBTQ+ community, like any straight or heterosexual person, has their own personal opinions and character, their own likes and dislikes, as well as their own life, in general. Right? So aren’t they entitled to express themselves freely when it comes to love?
And now another question arises: Has a complete stranger ever come to judge someone that is in a heterosexual relationship about the relationship itself? Let me answer: most of the times, no. And if it has happened, I’m sure that it hasn’t been done in the way a big percentage of people judge the LGBTQ+ community, right?
I cannot claim anything of the opposite; it is in human nature, generally, to comment on anything that can’t be comprehended or that doesn’t follow common thoughts and opinions. But commenting and cursing something is a huge disparity; especially for people we haven’t actually personally met before.
People tend to label someone after a simple glance at the surface. They can find any detail to comment on: their hairstyle, their height, their age, the way they walk, the way they talk. So, how could they leave their love preferences aside? It’s a burning topic in itself.
However, the point is that without actually knowing someone, they assure themselves -and therefore others- that they know all of someone else’s personal characteristics. And the story goes on and the problem gets bigger and bigger.
Why is it so offensive for people to have different sexual orientation? As long as they don’t physically bother you (and in this they are no one person is different from any other), why the hell do you judge them – or even worst – bully them? Who gave anyone that right? Who deemed you worthy?
Someone might say, “I don’t like to watch them kissing or hugging in public” or “it’s an unpleasant spectacle” or even “it’s disgusting”. Okay friend, tell me then, would you not say the same if it were a heterosexual couple making out in public? I don’t think “Geez, get a room already!” was a phrase used for someone that is queer to begin with. Or, if it bothers you so much, just look at someone else. Even better mind your own damn business and leave the rest of the people on this earth mind their businesses as well.
Being among lots of people, in a good or bad way, provokes good and bad comments. It is a reasonable fact, that LGBTQ+ couples deal with far more comments than heterosexual couples, simply because they are a minority and they express something that varies from what some already are used to.
In any case, each and everyone one of us has the right to follow our own belief system, whether they have to do with the style of our clothes or with the way we express our love – and to whom we express it. As you want to freely live your life, let others to live theirs as well in the way they chose to.
Either way, no one forced you to support something you’re not in agreement with. But it’s your duty to respect them the way they respect you; even when they hear all these nasty comments towards them.
I would suggest for you to keep this in mind: it’s not about being for or against LGBTQ+s, it’s not about if it is good or not to be in a same sex relationship, and it’s not about how the love between them is expressed -or not- publicly. It’s about respecting other people’s way of life. It’s about putting a stop to labeling people without knowing them and disapproving wonderful human beings just because they choose something else. It’s about not hurting people and making them feel badly about themselves. It’s about recognizing that your love and sexual preferences aren’t what make you a kind or beautiful human.
It’s about being able to put yourself in the position to think: whose actions affect others the most? – Mine or theirs?
The answer to that comes on its own…
Author: Tonia Pirtsi
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