Sharing the same blood doesn't make you family

Family: A blessed word, filled with unconditional love, trust, faith and, most importantly, unbreakable bonds.

The majority of us grows up with a kind of generic idea of what a family is; a deeply connected team of people whose members care about each other. A team that manages to remain united, like an unbreakable chain; they all sit together for Sunday’s lunch or dinner, they have fun just by talking before they go to sleep at the end of each day, its members can understand and count on each other. They can ask for a piece of advice, communicate and share their happy or sad moments.  What an ideal family picture, isn’t it?

People say that shared blood always comes first. I would rather call it ‘strong love’, however.

But there is the other side of the coin, as well.

We were raised by our family that loves us and everything they have done in the past or they’re still doing is for our own benefit and it doesn’t matter if what they do is positive or negative.

But, on the other hand, who cares if some of us, were neglected by our parents as children, because they were concentrated on something else, regardless of that being something superficial like, say,  their work? They did it for us not to miss anything. What if they vented their anger on us, ignored us or, even worse, used us to finish some of their duties? They acted this way because they wanted to make us stronger, independent and ready to face the tough world waiting for us outside.

They wanted to teach us to stand on our own feet and succeed in our life and that’s why they were harsh towards us or valued others more than us. In any case, many will say that all of their actions were meant to have a positive impact on us. And also, that they had their own reasons.

So, it is shitty of us not to feel gratitude or respect towards them because they dedicated their lives to raise us and now, as adults or even teenagers, we have to stand by their side. Their blood flows in our veins and, according to many people, this is a reason sufficient enough to maintain a deep connection between us.

This is bullshit; the truth is that we’re not all born within the best families.

Why should you appreciate someone who was not there for you when you needed them? During a tender age that you were vulnerable and you were feeling left out, or even when you’re a grown up and you still feel like you’re a stranger for them? Why should you care for someone who constantly makes you keep your breath from anxiety every time they enter the room?

Is “shared blood” really the basic ingredient that bonds us with people? Or it is just a simple biological bond that has nothing to do with affection?

Love, my dears. Love is the basic ingredient that really creates a bond between people. Whether they share the same blood or not.

Because, in the end, family means much more than blood. Our true family consists of the people who love us unconditionally. The people that stand by our side, support us, respect us and can see all that’s good and bad in us and still accept us the way we are.  It’s the people with whom we feel comfortable sitting, living, talking, laughing and crying. It is also the ones who know all the little things about us and can read our eyes. People who would do anything to see our smile instead of tears in our eyes..

Family is supposed to be a well bonded team and that’s how it’s supposed to work.

The idea that shared blood is a synonym with family is as ridiculous as thinking that a priest can create an actual union between two people by pronouncing them married. It’s silly, isn’t it?

In a few words, our real family is the one that shares love with us – and not always the one we were born in or lived with.

You should appreciate, respect and cherish this family, your true one; because it will be with you till the very end, no matter what.