When friends and exes come together

Few things cannot be shared in a strong friendship. And, as last week’s poll results suggest, former lovers are one them. Our question was intriguing and our readers’ replies varied – which was a sign that there are no definite answers when it comes to these two different kinds of love.

Our friends hold a special place in our hearts, but it seems that one strong prerequisite for them to be named so, is the certainty that it would never cross their minds to meddle with our past. Hence, a 36% of you underlined that “they do not have friends like that”. My guess is that “like that” means a friend that would fall for someone you have already fallen for.

Nevertheless, many of you facing the possibility of this happening, as we are human beings, declared that you would be willing to let your friend proceed in a relationship with your ex – as long as they are ready to pay the price of you walking out of their lives. The 28% that would choose this route are probably the people who value their friends’ feelings, but are unwilling to cope with a situation where they are constantly reminded that the person their friend is now sleeping with used to lie ιn a different bed – their own.

In that way, the “do what you wish, but forget about me” notion is not a vengeful but a thoughtful one. It may contain an essence of disappointment, or even maybe betrayal, but it still provides your friend the liberty to make their move and an understanding that your ex lover is not an item you can claim for all eternity.

And then, comes an unexpected 28% that doesn’t sweat at all with the revelation and wonders what your next drink’s gonna be. My thoughts are that they are divided into three sub-categories; the ones that, once a lover is in their past, they are left there for good, the ones that value their friend’s feelings way more than their own and the ones that do both of the above. Thus, kudos to their strength and their big hearts – for they are very few, we can give them that.

And last, but not least, comes the 12% of you that raised their eyebrow facing your friend’s obliviousness and naivety, for wanting to learn the lesson you were painfully taught and say “good for you honey, enjoy your upcoming blunder”. The not-so-slight irony highlights both your sentiment towards your friend’s choice and your bitterness towards this particular ex.

If you ask me, well, I would probably be amongst the 28% of you, because, for me, when two people you love fall in love with each other, all you can do is let them try. My former lovers belong to my past for a reason, I did love them once, but we obviously couldn’t keep on travelling on the same direction and my current friends are all people I respect and care about – hence a union between the two is not an abomination or an act of betrayal. It would surely be a test for all three of us, until we could find a way to balance things, but it is not impossible to overcome.

The only reason why a person should view this in a negative way is if they still have feelings for this particular ex – whether it is anger or love, you will not be able to withstand it and this is totally reasonable.  Like every difficult situation that may arise between humans, it all depends on the people forming the equation.

All in all, however, as this is a pretty difficult scenario for everyone involved, let’s just wish that you don’t ever have to face it as a live broadcast.