She’s not at home at the moment, who is asking?

Thank God that bitch you like made me cry.

This comes afterwards, for the first few weeks though, you locked yourself inside the house and fell into the dark hole you have become so comfortable with and denied any possibility of getting out. Your first instinct was to run, to disappear, to be nowhere that person existed and avoid any uncomfortable meetings at the coffee shop. And that’s where that bitch we were talking about before comes in. She appears and your running instincts switch into high gear.

But why run? Why not do something else this time? Deep down you know that we all secretly want our ex to piss us off, not hurt us, but make us really angry. Because that anger is what’s going to trigger you to do that something new, discarding your identity for a while and living without one.

The anger we get from that one specific ex, instantaneously lights up a fire in us and we feel like we are one step from conquering the world. Little do they know that their act opened a great window of possibility – to laugh sarcastically inside our head and welcome back an old friend.

This old friend only comes along when it’s summoned and its purpose is to make you live off the grid. And by off the grid we mean to leave the person that was broken up with locked inside the house out, and let them talk a walk inside the world you’ve been living in lately. That side that cares a little bit less about what the world is up to and is only looking out to making you have fun –even if you don’t feel like it– it’s going to make you have that one extra drink, dance a little less elegantly, laugh at things you would normally find idiotic and not remember what relationship you were talking about before.

Getting angry allows your will to unconsciously raise your head high and laugh at their shameless actions that ticked you off in their first place. It’s a blessing in disguise in a way, simply because it shuts up the little crying voice you’ve had inside you these past few weeks and instead brought out the person that would punch someone in the face if they dared disrespect you even just a little bit.

Live without your identity for a while, change the hair that was cherished, get new clothes, hang out with other people and instead of faking that you are someone else, be the ‘you’ that you feel like at that moment.

We’ve said it once and we’ve said it a million times, people are not meant to stay the same all the time and sometimes you need to change in order to survive.

Join the no identity club and feel what it’s like for your exs to have no name. Indulge in the reality where the past does not exist around you and can only be accessed through your head. Go out to places you know you wouldn’t even have to looked twice at the door of –because you would certainly have not been spotted there– and not be that someone else’s you that you have been for as long as you were together.

Living without an identity works solely for one thing – to get you your freedom back. This should not become a permanent state of being nor life advice that you will be passing over to your friends. It’s something you do in order to combine two very important people. The person you were before the relationship that crushed you and the person you will be now that it’s ended; and this is a ride where a “threesome” would not help, in any way.

Turn the anger into something empowering instead of something destructive and let it guide you the way it sees fit. There’s nothing to worry about, unless you are planning on blaming the anger on every bad decision you make, that’s beyond its control. But if you do control it, knowingly, it will remind you of all the things you have forgotten along the way and put you back on track a lot sooner than ‘Bridget Jones’ would.

Tuck your identity in bed tonight and take that other you for a night out. You’ll thank us.