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One of the most common and, at the same time, unpleasant situations everyone experiences at least once in their life is rejection. 

Being turned down, in any way, may sound scary but if you really think about it, it is part of everyday life. And if it hasn’t happened to you in a big way, it probably means that you aren’t as ambitious, or  you don’t have as big goals, as you might think. People fight for what they want and even if they don’t get their way in the beginning, they keep going and trying –or, theoretically, that’s the way it should be. And being turned down is a part of that.

A lot of people think that just because they want something –or someone– and just because they tried and worked hard for it, they should get it. And if they don’t get their way, they think that life is unfair and of course what they were trying for it turns out suddenly to be unworthy just because they can’t have it. That’s ok of course if you are a four years old spoiled child.

Unfortunately a lot adults tend to have this kind of attitude –especially when it comes to romance.  It’s completely understandable that no one likes to be rejected. Even if it can become a useful experience for the future, it can make you better and equip you what may come at some point, well let’s face it we could live without all these. It’s really painful, exhausting and frustrating to feel like someone, or even worse, someone you love doesn’t feel the same way about you. That’s one thing, though.

The ways some people react when they get rejected is another. I’m sure that almost everyone have a crazy story to tell when it comes to paranoid behaviors from ex boyfriends or girlfriends, or even worse from people you never had anything to do with to begin with anyway.

These kinds of behaviors enrage most. I mean it’s an awful combination of selfishness and lack of dignity at the same time. You wanted something you tried to obtain it –in the best case scenario– and you didn’t get it.

Well guess what?

When you decide to make an effort for something, no one guarantees that you will succeed. And we all have to keep that in mind –especially when it comes to relationships. I mean, people come on, you can’t force anyone to love you. And why the hell would you want something like that anyway? If anyone is going to love you they should do it for what you are, not because they had to.

And another thing. If you make the ‘horrible mistake’ and reject those kinds of people, you probably automatically become unworthy and, most likely, a bad person too. Who gave you the right to choose who you want or not in your life anyway right? It doesn’t matter if you were honest and just showed what you felt. They will start pointing out everything you do as wrong and they will be sure that you will regret that you rejected them in the future. And that’s just actually the best case scenario.

They may try to sabotage your life and your happiness, stalk you, make up fake rumors about you and try to hurt you in every way that they can. And the craziest part is that they will think that this is completely excusable. Even if you never did anything bad to them, just because you dared to reject them, you deserve the worst. 

Well, in my opinion those people don’t only lack of common sense and dignity but of sanity as well. Attitudes of this type can become really dangerous and everybody has seen crazy shit happening in the name of a broken heart. But we must always keep in mind that everything has a limit and that our freedom ends when someone else’s begins.

If you get rejected and heart broken it’s understandable you will be in pain, but if you handle it with grace and dignity, only good will come out of it. Rejection is not always something that we should take personally, anyway. If someone doesn’t want you, that doesn’t mean you are unworthy, it doesn’t even mean that this particular person thinks you are unworthy –unless if you start acting like you are. There are many other reasons why we reject someone or why we get rejected. Also you can’t be likeable to everyone, and that’s ok.

If you think about it, you can be the finest Swiss chocolate in the world and still there will be people who hate chocolate.             

Author: Areti Acheimastou

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