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There is no sweeter and more playful time than when two people meet and start to have a thing for each other. They start flirting and the bittersweet period with the intense heart beats, the doubts –“does he/she like me or not?”, “Should I send a message or I will look desperate?”– the butterfies when their eyes meet, begins.

All these things, and a bunch of others, are completely normal when you start caring about someone new and, of course, even if you can’t be sure if they like you or not. If you think about it though, others will notice all these things and even you will know if it’s real because love can’t be hidden; and of course it shouldn’t be!

So, it’s clear that this flirtation period is a sweet suffering, because both sides count every move they make and every move the other makes as well. We all want to show our best selves, we don’t want to be misunderstood, we are afraid of showing too much or not showing enough. When those feelings come from both sides, then the more all this honest the flirting – you feel better and happier.

But what happens when the sweet suffering becomes just suffering? It usually happens when we want to convince ourselves that the one we want wants us back and we try to excuse all the apathy they may show telling ourselves that it is just a part of a game of “playing hard to get”.

That is a really risky and unpleasant situation to get into my friend. If they didn’t reply to your message, it most likely means they didn’t bother to so, and not that they are doing this as a part of a plan or even because they got attacked by aliens. No one likes rejection but sometimes it is easier to accept that someone is just not into you than to put yourself through a situation that will give you only disappointments.

I mean, come on people, we all know that if someone likes you, you and everyone else can see it. And even if we are not talking about full-blown, straightforward rejection, but some kind of medium and a scottish shower situation, is it really worth it? What chance can a relationship has if before it even begins starts with drama and doubts?

In the beginning everything should be fresh and simple, all flowers and butterflies; not doubts and fear. If someone makes you feel that way from the moment you meet them why would you ever want to know them better? What good can come out of a messy situation and what can you expect from a person that either doesn’t know what they feel about you or feel nothing – which is kind of the same thing anyway.

It is a waste of time and feelings to invest in a situation that may be only in your imagination; because I can’t find a good reason why someone who likes you doesn’t show it, and the most probable case is that you will end up getting hurt by someone who never really cared, after dreaming about something that didn’t ever exist.

People think that if someone gets caught up in a situation like this, they probably have low self-esteem – especially to put up with such behaviors. But it turns out that the most selfish people find themselves in to those kind of situations because it is easier for them to take it all as a game, or a challenge, and to make God knows how many scenarios about why their crush doesn’t show them any attention rather than to accept that someone they want doesn’t want them back.

And you know what the saddest part of it all is, right?

All the time you spend trying to make someone to pay attention to you, you may be losing the attention that someone else is giving you without even asking for it.

Author: Areti Acheimastou

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