Sucker for pain

Have you ever counted how many of our pains and anxieties simply come from our insecurities or expectations?

We anticipate things, and our hearts beat faster in fear that we might see it fail. Most of the time we expect something from someone we should not, and they end up letting us down. This simply means they could not have known we actually had this expectation because they do not read minds; and so they did whatever they thought was best.

Insecurity rushes in because now that we have been let down, we start to assume we are not good enough, we start to believe we are not worthy enough, and resentment is slowly built for the other person and ourselves. Nobody really deserves that, though. This is the type of feeling one chooses for themselves. We hesitate to admit at times we need it to prove ourselves and others this is the only way this worths something. But we are wrong. Things that are worth something, anything at all, do not have to involve pain and agony.

Our insecurities make us lie, they force us to compromise ourselves and keep us from being as wonderful as we can be. We attempt to explore our full potential without pain casting shadows in our living process. Insecurities find ways to creep up until we face them. Face them properly. We cannot face our insecurities as if they are our enemies, simply because they are not.

Take a deep breath, stand up tall, take a step further and you will see they are actually one of our closest friends. They are created to protect us during our childish ignorance; an ignorance in which we considered the world a flat, marvelous place with no mountains to climb and no obstacles to stumble upon. These fears keep us -the real us, with our full potential- at bay, but then they grow larger and stronger than they needed and have now become they harbor we always return fearful of our own truths.

We have to talk to ourselves with love, compassion, and kindness. Like we would deal with someone who really needs us. Who depends on our clear thinking. Then, we have to ask some difficult questions and extract some more difficult answers.

”Why did you choose this journey for you to make?” ”Why does it hurt when people do not respond or pay attention?” Why, what do you need them?” ”What is your next step?” ”Will this lead you to what you want to be?” ”What are you afraid of?” Are your accomplishments enough even without praising from others?” ”Are you honest enough to reward your future self with the very deep and truthful answers to all the above?”

Let’s have this conversation with our inner voice. The one that cries sometimes at night, wondering how much more we could possibly take. Let’s tell it as much, explain what you decide it to be. Let’s be honest and this will eventually melt off a lot of the burden we carry around. No one else can have this conversation with us; no one but us. Ourselves only. Let’s find the time and the energy to do it. Let’s find this person with this voice and engage them in this constructive dialogue.

They’re standing right there, staring back at us through the mirror.