pepi020917

Very few times in our lives do we come across people with similar scars, who perhaps wear the same tears as us, the same burden on their shoulders. Other times, they’re completely different. Still, we cannot help but be amazed by their existence. We are fascinated by their resemblance to us. We cannot help but wonder what they might have been through. Every obstacle thrown in their way, every hurdle they faced to get where they are. Every mountain they had to climb to conquer the peak.

This togetherness has made all the unknown colors between your lives apparent, like banners in the sky after a heavy rainstorm. And although now we know there many like us out there, we cannot help this need to pursue that “one and only” in the crowd. Like a hound dog its prey. I guess this is all part of the human nature. All incorporated in our survival instinct. But at the end of the day at the end of each day we are forced to realise that this ‘co-survival’ with that one and only person is not something you can chase.

Not something you go after. But something that finds you. It comes wherever you are and finds you.

And now that you are here patiently tapping your foot as you wait for me to open my door, I cannot help but wonder how you could have gone through it all without ever coming across someone else like me in the past. I would have helped you reach me. I would have saved you from all this pain and anguish that my quest has brought to you. But I guess that is how it was supposed to happen. And somehow all that has happened do not really matter, because I am grateful for my survival mate now. No matter what hurdles, what obstacles, what incessant bullshit life or God or even other people have thrown in our way, you made it to my door.

And I let you in.

It is a quarter after six, the drips drop against the windowsill but God does not seem angry this morning. There is no grumble in his voice but there is a rasp in the back of my throat each time you try to make your way to higher place. I have shouldered an ache in my chest the size of the distance between us in bed and I try to push it in closer. So close that it will end up dwelling in our bodies. A reminder in our system, a reminder in our nature of how we used to be and what we have been through to get here. It is holy in the sense we have prayed for it countless sleepless nights but it has never set foot in a church.

It has always found shelter on earth making roots for people like us. For people who had forgotten how soothing it feels to stop wandering around in the disguise of a hound, but instead act like one. Dogs never leave a place. It is not in their nature.

So, no matter what you have been through, no matter how much it cost you to get here, no matter what you know or you don’t, stay. Just stay and life will find us as you have found me. And perhaps if we claw some more we will find it ourselves. The cost of what we don’t know we are paying and what we know or have forgotten because God has seen it all before.

So, stay to prove him right.

Author: Pepi Naki

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