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Maybe it is the thirst, or perhaps even our hunger, maybe it is their impact, the one that lies subconsiously beneath our skin, maybe it is the one we determined to bring forward our eyes and yet our thoughts feel light. Even though there are a train of them passing by from every direction, you do not feel the necessity to board any of them anymore.

This station surrounds you; a 360 degree grid where trains come and go. And you watch them. You watch them come and you watch them go and you are suddenly forced to look into your thought without the comforts you were used to, and you can tell only one thing for certain; it is menacing in the sense you have grown quite content with things you did not even realise satisfied you in the first place. This subconsious part has ripped off the comforts, eventually.

It is also quite frightening itself. It can be quite scary only by standing in a place alone when you get to realize this notion but also how full you feel each time you take a deep breath. But this fullness did not arrive that easily. Within that fullness came mindfulness that brought  all the things that you could live without for more than one day to the surface. And that day became two, and those two brought more until you cannot recall what it was like having them all along.

You may have overthought yourself into a thousand different worlds, like when you began to feel thirst and imagined every single time you have tasted water in your life. Splashed in it. Swam in it. Bathed in it. Drown by it. Things you now take for granted every day used to be a necessity once. And one necessity brought the other, along with the feeling you actually have to comply with them all in order to survive.

Looking back at those days you realize that all you needed was more room; more room to see clearly, more space to define your shadow among them, because, as always, the right “more” will be less. Less than what you think you need, less than what others think you need. One morning. One time. One love. One break.  So, when the first sip hits the roof of your mouth you realise that you were quenching something less than the quest of water and its ultimate pleasure in your mouth, just to make sure you can reach it somehow in the end.

You sit back for a while and stare beyond the clouds and you almost feel you can take a bite out of the many wishes you have thrown at those trains and what rained on you with certainty was that now you are holding dearly. You watched the trains go by sometimes multiple at a time and you start wondering why you never felt necessity to board any. You decide to leave the station leaving them departing behind and let your single shadow lead you home.

You only need this one tonight.

Author: Pepi Naki

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