Dear future me,
I can almost picture you smiling while reading these lines. I imagine you sitting on a larger and more comfortable sofa in a much more stylish house than mine. You look peaceful, content and relaxed, nothing like me, your younger, restless, never settling and always anxious version.
The small wrinkles on your face slightly contract as your thoughts run back to me. You remember me being upset with the most irrelevant things from coming second in that writing competition in High School to losing my favorite notebook or gaining some extra pounds. You can almost hear me whining about that big fight with my best friend over some stupid pair of earrings. You can see me locked in my bedroom for days, crying desperately on the floor over that guy that left me heartbroken in college. Then, spending whole hours listening to my favorite song, “74-75″ by The Connells, thinking about how I would be in 20 or 30 years’ time. I must look like a fool to you now.
But, I know that you would not judge me anyway. I know that you can feel that I have just been struggling to find my way in life. By falling and getting up again. By making hard decisions, hoping for them to turn out well, regretting, becoming depressed and disappointed with myself again and again, but always making it through anyway. You can feel the agony burning my heart as you watch me becoming stronger and wiser day by day.
As you watch me, I am slowly becoming you.
Then, your face relaxes and you come back to reality again. Back in this exact moment when our roads have crossed after all those years. When you have discovered actual pieces of me in you. The moment when we must finally make peace with each other. About all the steps that I have taken in the past and have led us here, today. Because, although I really hope that those steps have been the right ones; I can’t really say if they have and please forgive me if they haven’t. I am sure that you can understand now that our road up to today has been very long and the choices I had to make at each one of its turns have been a really tough nut to crack.
But, all these are over now. And I really hope that you are at least a little bit proud of me and of the things that I have achieved. Proud of the way I have dealt with everything that life has thrown at us and of the lessons I have learned and passed on to you. And of course, above all, I really wish that you are really proud of yourself. If that helps in any way, I surely know that I am more than grateful for turning into you.
A few years from now, you might be writing those same words to some future you. In the meanwhile, make memories that will be worth remembering. Struggle, fight, lose and win. Never settle and never give up. Love yourself and all the choices that you make. I guess it is your time to live now. Enjoy every second of it.
A younger you.