chris

Dear Ladies,

You’re probably looking at your husband / boyfriend / lover/ footstool, buried into the couch, beer in one hand and TV remote in the other. As they flick through the list of TV shows and Movies, waiting for Netflix and Chill to start, you begin to wonder…

‘Does he have feelings? If so, why doesn’t he ever express them?’

Well, the media has portrayed men as these cavemen that go around drinking mead and challenging each other to arm wrestling match to impress a mate with their feats of strength. But men are much more complex than that; tortured and brooding individuals that are forced to bottle up their inner turmoil because society taught them to never express themselves.

Here, let me explain with the stereotype on how each gender deals with a breakup. A woman reacts to a break up by building a pillow fort in front of a TV, playing old episodes of ‘Friends’ while eating a bucket of ‘Cookie and Cream’ ice cream and crying to their bestie over the phone. Whereas men are portrayed as stoic statues that just shrug off their previous relationship, with the mindset of ‘I’ll find another’, as they head off to the bar for another arm wrestling match.

But that is wrong. Men have invested their heart and soul in their relationship because even they are surprised that they managed to find someone that is willing to talk to them; to be with them. So when a relationship ends, the whole world dies with it, and the only thing that will give them solace is crying to their bestie while eating ‘Cookie and Cream’ ice cream, it’s just, when they are outside for the world to see, they hide that side of themselves away.

Men and women are very similar when it comes to emotions –both obviously have them– but getting them out, is a different matter entirely. It’s socially acceptable –as well as sexist– for a woman to cry in public but when a man does, it’s just weird. So they bottle it up, they hide it away cause they believe women want this tall, dark and handsome brute to sweep them off their feet and have their way, only to be completely stumped when women ask them about their day.

Again that is wrong, but society has begun to change that outlook. Men have evolved from these rugged brutes to these clean shaven heterosexuals, but still society has a long way to go and one post isn’t going to change anything anytime soon. But what this post can do is show you what men really feel inside that they try so hard to express.

So as your significant other sits next to you, scrolling through Netflix, this would probably be what they would be thinking…

“I love her so much, I can’t believe she is with me, I’m the luckiest man in the world, she could have anyone in the world but she chose me… she chose me to Netflix and chill. I should do something for her, buy her chocolate… no that is too cliché, which would mean flowers would be out of the question then. Wait! Didn’t she want that dress we saw at… at… Damnit! Why didn’t I pay attention…? I’m such a terrible husband / boyfriend / lover / footstool.”

Men tend to over-complicate things. They put all their effort and energy into a single goal; so much so, they can’t believe the words ‘I love you’ could be enough. So ladies, when your love does something stupid, like buying the wrong packet of chips –although he knows that you always eat those other ones–, or put the dishes in the wrong place, even though you’ve told him where to put them a thousand times, or forget your birthday –actually, that is terrible that should be tattooed on their arm if they ever forget. Then again, some of us do terrible things, like lie and cheat, because they can’t deal with their emotions and that is the fault of both genders.

Anyway, in conclusion, men have emotions it’s just going to take a little work for him to get them out. The only way he knows right now is to make small, and often stupid, gestures, and since they aren’t good with the verbal aspect of gestures, they use physical.

But that is why you are here. The other half to this strange jigsaw puzzle, to help him to fit into life and to be himself, to be the man you really see under the mask, the heart of diamonds buried in the mountain of rocks.

Author: Christopher V.

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