Tonight I have a date with myself

“Why can’t you go out tonight with us?” My friends asked suspiciously. “Are you going on a date?!” One of them wondered and waited with anticipation for my reply.

“Of course I am!” I answered while looking down at my freshly manicured nails with satisfaction. “With who?” All three asked, surprised with the news.

“Myself.”  I answered plainly and immediately raised my eyebrow with a sassy look. The three young women looked at each other confused. What was I talking about? Going on a date by myself? That’s beyond ridiculous. Who would do that? They always knew that I was anything but ordinary, but apparently this time I had gone too far for them.

I don’t know what really struck them as strange the most. The fact that I enjoy hanging out with myself at times? Or even worse, that I enjoy hanging out by myself, at times, in public places? Frankly, I don’t give a damn of what other people think when they see me sitting all alone.

In the mornings, I usually visit this small cafe which I accidentally discovered on a day that I had lost my way once again. I purposely lose my way along the old streets of my hometown for I am an explorer and an adventurer. Every outing is a new adventure as I discover new places to go to. Places that are known by few. The fewer the people around me, the greater the inspiration is.

Every place that I go is carefully chosen. And for your information, I’m not entirely alone during my outings. An empty notebook and my headphones are what keep me company. Headphones are extremely important – how else am I supposed to listen to my favorite music? Listening to music is of the same importance as breathing for me – it never stops.

My mind is an endless ocean with mermaids and pirates. Sometimes the ocean is turned into a sky with the second star to the right leading me to Neverland, where children never grow up.

If I was ever given a superpower, I’d choose to be able to calm my thoughts every once in a while. Like a well-oiled machine, my mind never rests. Numerous nights are the nights when insomnia takes over my mind and body, leaving me sleepless.

Inside my head, the most terrifying yet magical stories are sited, waiting for their turn to be written down. My tales demand for my time and devotion or else they come alive at night to haunt me. They are impatient demanding to be spread out in the real world, thirsty for recognition.

When you have a brain like that – which works in the most peculiar ways, you are never really bored. As each day I get to travel and explore new territories. Occasionally, the company of others is unnecessary as I already have the best – myself.

To cope with reality, I have taken over many roles in order to satisfy and entertain the people around me and especially the ones that I love. The roles of the teacher, writer, daughter, sister and most importantly the role of a good friend have been assigned to me. The role of the girlfriend does not quite excite me as I am still in search of that special one whose brain works in the same abnormal way as mine.

As you see, I’m too busy with all these roles that I have been given that periodically I need quality time with myself.

I usually go out for coffee or even for lunch, depending on my mood. Today actually I had the pleasure of enjoying my meal in a restaurant accompanied by the view of yachts, while a couple next to me sat feeling sorry for me for my loneliness. There was a time that I even went to the cinema all alone.

And tonight I’m going on a date with myself.

I will put on my little black dress which wraps around my curves, my favorite Chanel rouge lipstick and some of that flowery perfume I’ve been wearing for years. It’s a rule after all – a woman who respects herself enough, does not leave the house without her lipstick and perfume on, even if she’s wearing overalls.

“I have a date with myself tonight.” I repeated as if my friends didn’t hear me the first time. Their jaws dropped. Oh, the pity I feel for them. They don’t understand and they never will. What they fail to comprehend is that a woman’s solitude is her power. People who can’t be left alone or can’t go some place on their own, are the people who can’t stand and despise themselves.

“What a shame to be given this life and, instead of living it, insisting on postponing meeting the real you. The only way to really know who you are, is to isolate yourself from the rest of the world. Only then will you figure out what you really want without being influenced by the presence of others.”

I contemplated as I left my companions to go home and get ready for the night. Who knows? Tonight may be the night I have a date with destiny after all. I ought to look my best. Which by the way I always do, for “effortlessly sexy” is my middle name.

Can you handle it?