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Gazing upon her reflection in the mirror, she realizes of how much she has changed. Naked she stands and she observes her figure. This sudden contemplation of how she had never took the time to really admire herself naked pops in her head.  As she turns around, she makes notice of that scar she’s had on her leg ever since she was a child and she also regards of that birth mark on the side of her rib cage.

Nodding her head, a sarcastic smile draws upon her face for she had been an idiot. Only now she realizes that she had been a fool for not loving the way she looked. Always influenced by others’ opinions on how a desirable woman should look, she never invested the time to sit down with herself and sincerely have a chat. Considering herself undesirable and difficult to love, she would deliberately avoid to stare upon her reflection; even in underwear.

But today as she stands opposite the mirror and with this sparkling aura filling the four corners of her bedroom, she thinks of how beautiful she is and how she deserves much more than she had previously settled for in the past. She had given chances to people that she shouldn’t even bother to talk to, and invested into relationships that had only brought her down, mentally as well as spiritually, causing her to walk down the dark path of self loathing and underestimation of who she is and what she is capable of.

Turning the page of that sad, miserable part of her story, not only had she begun a new chapter but she burnt the whole book, feeling ready as ever to make a brand new start. And that brand new start emphasizes strictly on love. But not just any kind of love, this time she swore that she would attempt to find love from within, she would attempt to find self love and apply it to any aspect of her life. First, it commenced as an experiment really. An experiment where it originally started with a long talk with herself and it was continued by spending tons of hours alone. What she really needed was time; time to think of what she wanted from life and who she needed by her side.

The conclusion of this conversation was that people in this life are temporary; that they come and go all the time. No one is to be taken for granted and therefore claiming that something is to last as forever is at least irrational and a mere illusion. If there is a fact to be taken for granted, it is the cliché of how the only person that you really have as long as forever is yourself. Yourself is someone you are bound to live with for as long as you are alive and thus it would be a sin if you two do not get along with. Having this in mind then, she made small steps day by day, as to make peace with herself and gradually become best friends with.

Indeed, self love made its appearance and that was the minute she decided to forgive herself for all that she had done in the past along with all the blame she had been holding within for ages. Besides she reckoned, what was in the past it’s done and there was nothing else that she could have done as to change it, so she just let bygones be bygones. Forgiving herself had as a result forgiving those who treated her badly and letting go of what’s been holding her back from evolving and getting in the way of becoming who she is destined to become. She began treating all people tenderly and equally and she would face them with a large smile, showing all how she would like to be treated as well. To her, the way someone treats you is a mere reflection of how they feel about themselves and how they would like to be treated.

Added to all these, she inherited these insignificant yet surprisingly effective habits that helped her in taking better care of her appearance. Feeding herself properly, she would quit smoking and would invest time in acquiring knowledge through books and through everyday situations as to become wiser.  Often she would buy herself gifts and she would spoil her. Closing her ears towards the negativity that this world is bound to, she embraced her uniqueness by dancing around the room in her laced underwear. She insisted that the people who would genuinely care for her, shall not force her to change.

She is pure art and art is neither to be altered nor to be judged, thus people should accept the magical chaos she carries within, for that it is who she is. A walking spot of sunshine who seeks love and in return she would give back unconditionally. And today as she looks at her reflection in the mirror, she realizes that she is one hell of a desired woman, a woman who deserves to be loved and to be made love to madly, deeply, passionately; nothing more nothing less.

Feeling blessed for being able to open her eyes to a new dawn, she feels grateful for being capable of recognizing in such a young age that the greatest gift that one could offer to oneself is none but self love. Beating herself up for years for being incapable of finding a partner, only now does she understand that it is rather impossible to convince one to love you if you are not to love yourself first. Her prime goal from now on would be to teach people around her how to love themselves and stop beating themselves up for not being perfect. Perfect is boring as well as the people who pretend to be, originality and a creative chaos is what we should strive for in order for this world to become a better place.

Author: Marianna Ioannou

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