There was this girl in my class back in high school. We weren’t much alike; did she resemble to me — or to anyone else really. Never had she wanted to be at the spotlight, she was soft spoken, always preferring to sit in the back corner of the room by herself quietly. Occasionally, and no matter as much of an exaggeration as it may sound, even our teachers did not bother with her presence; as long as she wasn’t causing any trouble during the lesson, she was allowed to listen to music or to sleep on that desk as much as she wanted to.
My fellow classmates ignored her most of the time, and if, in the best case scenario, they decided to bring the girl’s name to their lips, it would be for calling her names. Short hair she had, a rather pessimistic look on her face with her boyish clothes being dirty or ripped off most of the times. Compared to the rest of us girls, she could not care less for her appearance and despite of how unusual she might was, I found her somehow special. She was unique in her own kind of way and the world hated her for it, for what we fail to understand or to relate to is certainly no good business.
A naive teenager back in the day, to my regret; I belonged to that group of people that preferred to ignore her than to make a fuss about her lonely existence. Yet when I was a witness to her being bullied, I didn’t make the effort of stopping others or at least saying something about it; and sincerely I don’t know which one is worse. That was, of course, until one day I walked in our early morning empty class and there she was sitting in her beloved corner, making herself busy by drawing inside the pages of our History book. It striked me as odd how focused and dedicated she seemed while doing this, that pessimistic gaze of hers having completely vanished.
It is a known fact that I am the most curious person on planet earth and approaching her then was inevitable. Caught in the act, she must have felt like I was intruding. I had interrupted her in the middle of sketching this peculiar yet wonderfully detailed scene – a starry August night as she referred to it. Intrigued by the colorfulness of her mind, I unintendedly and gradually came close to this strange girl. But as always, this thirst of wanting to know more faded as the weeks passed. I basically had no other option but to ask her the obvious.
Being a member of a broken family, she grew up to the yelling and the desperate shouting of her mother for help while her dad beat them both. And then with that alcoholic stepfather stepping into her life, things were not predicted to get any brighter pretty soon. She once admitted to me, that many were the times she wished to kill herself, thus justifying her admiration of the sky and the clouds; that is where she really longed to be. Unfortunately for her, she was stuck right here on earth with all these fools who wouldn’t leave her in peace. If only they had known what she had been through, they shut their mouths once and for all.
Ever since that day of revelation, I figured that in order for this world to be a bit more beautiful as the soul of my dear friend, it only needed this. This simple recipe, that it is absolutely necessary to be used by all of us. If she, or anyone who’s been having a hard time, were to ever stop having suicidal thoughts, it was up to other people to stop being so judgmental and instead accept all humans as they are. It is a straightforward equation – less judgment and a bit more kindness.
It is all about less finger pointing and behind and more smiling. You’ve got to smile more often, you were designed to anyway. Give that compliment to the girl that you like; tell her that she is gorgeous even without make up on. Say good morning to the guy making your coffee; he is probably already having a heck of a morning with such a long queue at Starbucks. Most importantly learn to say thank you to those who do their best to help you out.
You know, people who feel appreciated will do so much more than they are willing to otherwise. We all have our bad days and we all have mood swings, so a few kind words coming out of your mouth will probably make them feel better; trust me. Everyone is going through an inner struggle; some of us just hide it better than others. Most people out there face a gigantic problem loving themselves and take the blame for every shitty situation going on in their lives. Imagine of how relieved and touched one must feel after you show a bit of compassion to them.
Do you honestly feel better when pointing out someone else’s weaknesses? Does that make you feel superior? I wonder who the weakest one here really is. Is it the one who, despite struggling, makes an effort of getting better? Or is it you that you have not got anything better to do with your dull life and so you keep yourself busy by constantly judging other people’s flaws?
I’m just saying that a pinch of kindness never harmed anybody, let alone that it can instantly turn you into the most beautiful person in the room without any extra effort.
Just saying…
Author: Marianna Ioannou
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