Forgive but never forget

Boy met girl, girl liked boy and they fell in love. Happily ever after. The End.

Did they though? How come no one asks what really happens after the finish line drop? Why, just why would script writers of movies and books raise our expectations in believing in the existence of a relationship based on eternal serenity? Those are who we should blame for complying with and buying into such bullshit, having us desperately searching for monotonous affairs to get ourselves into. Relationships in which nothing notable ever happens, except for countless love gazes, cuddles and heartfelt songs playing in the background.

The aftermath of the presumably happy ending – that is where the real stuff is. It is the part where reality kicks in and alas someone ought to tell the truth behind it. Happily ever after is only a manipulative concept, brain washing people into an achievable boastfully happy end to their story – when in fact there is not an end when it comes to relationships.

The only thing to terminate a relationship – either a friendship or a romantic affair – is none other but death. Other than that, relationships are a constant struggle where two people work to have the strength and patience to keep building on their mutual story. Throughout this one-on-one journey, there shall be good and bad memories. With good memories bringing you even closer and making you feel blessed momentarily, a time period shall arrive with the dominance of disagreement, quarrelling, shouting, insulting etc. It will feel like a twisted turn to your relationship, facing for the first time a different aspect of the person you are involved with.

Here’s the thing though – without the bad memories you cannot appreciate the good ones. And for what it’s worth, no matter how badly you hate to admit it, unpleasant experiences are the basis of a strong relationship. The million dollar question here is – how do you handle situations like these? It hurts, it hurts a lot, especially if the one causing you the pain is someone whose name you’ve carved on your heart.

You might be frightened; you might want to call it quits. There is an awful chance you might won’t even pick up the phone and answer back to them after they have hurt you. It is alright, after all nothing lasts forever. For those who are a bit bitter and are always in seek of revenge let me tell you this. No matter how many revenge plans that are strategically outsmart you make up, no matter how many times you had them killed in your head as a payback to the shattered heart of yours, there is an ultimate plan which would surpass any other plot – forgiveness.

Why keep wasting your time on something that has already been done? Let bygones be bygones, there is not much to be altered if it has already been said or done. Be the biggest person in your situation; show them that petty circumstances like these cannot take one down. You are made of a bulletproof material, nothing can really penetrate you.

Pay attention to this tiny, yet very significant, detail though. You are allowed to forgive them but do not even for a spare second, allow yourself to forget the things they have done, the words said to you and even worse – the way they made you feel. Because it is most likely that if they have done it once, they might as well do it twice.

What they won’t know though, is that this second time you have grown stronger. You are mature enough, to know who you are and what you want from your relationship. Surely now you have chartered your boundaries and are certain of which behaviours you shall allow in this reformed duet and which do not suit you anymore. Don’t let them treat you like an amnesiac fool, shove up their faces with valid justifications why they have been lucky to still be in your life despite of not perhaps being worth it, the minute they go back treating you the way they used to. Shock them with your kind majesty for setting aside any traced memories which did you none but good.

At the end of the day, you will feel so much more relaxed for you would have banished all the negativity that had previously driven you bonkers. And once you demolish negativity from your life that shall be the beginning of far greatest things to come. Even that includes a new beginning for you and your loved one let’s say. Life is too short to be holding grudges anyway. What I suggest is that you let Karma finish it alright. A priority list is served and in one way or another, it shall punish those who hurt you. It might take one month, it might take a decade.

What goes around comes back around baby.

I thought you already knew that.