He was one of the quiet ones – if not the quietest of them all. He would lay his back on that chair and peacefully drink his coffee. Sip after sip, he soon had the urge for nicotine in his blood and it wasn’t long before a cigarette was touching his lips. As that smoke was exhaled from his mouth this extreme lust to find out what was in his mind possessed me.
I’d be a fool if I had dared to ask him what it was he was thinking in that very moment – set aside the fact that I would appear to be a nosy chick. And so I let him be, admiring him muted gaze. Neglecting to note the presence of the other two people by our table, I focused my eyes on his tired face expression. Those forehead wrinkles revealed what a thinker he is, and that immediately led me to another thought: sometimes the quietest people may just have the loudest minds. Yet again, it’s not that he is that antisocial, neither is he the most talkative person. Once he opens his mouth though, you can’t help but stare at him in awe.
His words, so on point, often accompanied by pure sarcasm, manage to intrigue me to the maximum. The sequence in which he carefully places his thoughts, gives you the impression that everything he utters to the outer world, is firstly well edited in his mind. For that reason, I consider each and every one of his words to be validly truthful; one of the main reasons that he rarely gets on my nerves.
And while I too have been busy processing all these recent observations in my head; I failed to notice how our company seemed to be having a big feud. Distracted by their public screams, I at once realized they were arguing once again on the same idiotic matter as always and I could not help myself but to intervene. Listening to both sides, I laughed at the realization of how they were both claiming the very same thing – but each one expressed it from their very own perspective. All this fuss, all this wasted energy, it was all for nothing, just a simple misunderstanding. Isn’t it always like this though?
We’re always in a rush to express our opinion and we pretend to be listening – when we are actually not, we are simply hearing what we want to hear until the other is done talking. And most of the times, in the name of pride and egoism, we desperately try to diminish the other by using mediums that may cause fear and force the other one to silent themselves. Mediums such as shouting, swearing, blackmailing, and underestimating, or in the worst case scenario, physical abuse, are quite of use by empty headed people.
To those who use any of these methods as to dominate, it is obvious that they are not aware of the fact that the key of any functional relationship is communication. However, what is meant by communication is not only you expressing your needs and demanding that your requests are met. Despite of not believing in the theory of finding your other half, it is true that, when committed, you are supposed to work as a team, collaborating as if you are one single person.
Strange as it may sound, relationships are just like football – challenging, competitive and, most of all, ego free. The team whose players work together, win together. Of course there will be disagreements and of course there will be fights. What really matters though is how you deal with these rows, while you are right in the middle of them. To train yourself to be calm in every type of situation without having to raise the pitch of your voice is a charisma that only a few possess. Being capable of listening to the other person’s side of the story without interrupting is vital. Even more vital is that you find the strength to utter the words “I’m sorry” or the “You’re right” phrase just for the sake of the well being of both of you.
Holding yourself back from shouting back and communicating in a calm tone while the other one is having an outrageous outburst in your face shows the self control that you have and at the same time makes the other person look like a complete idiot. Honestly, the emptiest minds make the loudest noise. It is quite easy to spot them, please forgive them for being the way they are. This is how they have been told that one is to dominate and show their ‘superiority’ – through loud noise.
God gifted us with a couple of two ears for a reason – to allow words sink in and to let words pass by without having to pay much attention. So do not waste your time on such people, it is unusual that they shall ever change. If only they knew that they are only wasting their energy and time, when they could simply sit down and solve the problem like any civilized person would.
Author: Marianna Ioannou
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