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The Chinese people have this ancient belief about how each human has three different personalities. The first one is the one you front to the entire world. It might come off as distant and strict; one that has nothing to do with the typical you. Then the next one is shown off when you are with your loved ones, the people that you are closer with. During these times, you appear to become milder, friendly, more humane and emotional perhaps. For the end, comes the third face you possess; which also happens to be the most genuine of them all. It is the personality you display when you are by yourself, with not anyone watching you or judging you. That, my dear friend, is the ultimate person you are; entitled with all your insecurities, fears, little rituals, habits and charactersitics.

Many will come and disapprove of this belief of the three personalities, simply claiming that all people display their true selves constantly. If it so happens that you are one of them, you know deep down that this is a total lie. Behind closed doors, there are so many things that take place that you never speak of. They are things that you don’t even share with your loved ones; out of habit, out of secrecy.

Don’t immediately condemn the idea of secrecy, now; I’m just referring to the little habits that every single one of us possesses. Despite not noticing so far, they are actions so deeply adopted into our daily lives, that they are not even shared with others. It’s like spraying perfume on yourself every morning before going to work; there’s no need to share that, yet it is a habit of yours. If you disappointingly haven’t yet granted to those little things the importance they ought to have, know that it is never too late. For those little things that you do by yourself, are the things that define you as whole.

So, next time that you are having a bad day, try and figure out, remember these things, seek for yourself what it is that calms your storms. Maybe it is a hot bath, or maybe it is a pair of arms to run into. Whatever it is, bring it to your memory, whenever you are on the edge of a mental breakdown. Instead of falling into the trap of aggression, fight back by calming yourself. It is only a bad day; not a bad life.

Just don’t let idiots ruin your day with their foolishness. Don’t allow them to win you over, don’t let yourself lose your temper, for that is their ultimate goal. Perpetually, out of jealousy, out of having nothing better to do with their boring lives, they repeatedly aim towards your demolishment. Out of respect, just out of self dignity, do not grant them the right of watching your downfall.

Every time you are about to burst into tears, into aggression, into shouting – you ought to do this. Turn towards them and face them, penetratingly gaze into their eyes without fear. Do not hesitate to offer them your biggest, brightest smile. It will surprise them, and afterwards, it will make them despise themselves. Doubt will conquer them and, as a result, they will wonder what went wrong in their planning of destroying your tranquility. To make things worse, it will puzzle them to the bits — what an unbeatable warrior you are but never seized the opportunity of seeing it from the very start.

The strategy is one and simple then.

To their insults, answer back with compliments. To their backfires, reply with kindness. And to their desperate attempts to get you angry, offer them your help. They need it more than you could ever possibly imagine. In other words, make your enemies, your best friends. If you haven’t heard it before, the best kind of relationships are with the people you originally shared feelings of hatred. People with whom you could not, in a million years, imagine that you could hang out, let alone become friends, lovers, or partners in crime.

Give it a chance; you never know what’s in store for you. Life is way too short to be holding grudges and insulting back. You already know who you are, it is unnecessary that you let idiots drown you in their own poor mindset.

Author: Marianna Ioannou

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