Darling, you're not in love

So here’s what’s been going on for the past thirty minutes – I’ve reached a point where my sense of hearing has been muted. I watch my friend’s lips open and close, yet I insist on not hearing a word of what she is muttering to me with such a dumb smile. Instead of listening to what she is saying, I keep singing the lyrics of Icona Pop’s song “I love it” in my head. Before you rush to judge me and crown me with the title of “the heartless friend”, I shall give it a go and give you an insight of the current situation I am in.

They say that if a friendship is to last more than seven years, that friend of yours is not to be regarded just as a simple friend anymore, but rather as a family member. And the truth is that I do regard her to be family and that I do love her — I sincerely do; or else I wouldn’t choose to stay by her side for better or for worse. She is aware that whatever she is down with, I shall support her despite not always being on the same page. And if, God forbid, things do not evolve the way planned; I will be the one passing her that Ben and Jerry’s ice cream tub, comforting her regarding the one and only aspect in her life that she will never be genuinely satisfied with – men.

That woman just can’t stand the idea of being single. She is a cougar, always in the hunt of her next potential lover, jumping from one relationship to another; and with no second thoughts. She doesn’t even take the time to meet the other person standing opposite her a bit better; she instantly falls in the trap like a mouse in the hunt for feed. Patience or suspiciousness are unknown words to her, taking things as they come without any further elaboration on what her aspired needs are. With disappointment is how I gaze upon her today because I’ve seen this ecstatically happy face looking down on a phone screen, anticipating with crossed fingers for a reply way too many times and it is certainly up to no good.

While we were still at school, I could somehow justify that over the top reaction of hers – the daydreaming, the stomach butterflies, insomnia. I mean come on, we all have been through that as teenagers; the blushing, the minute countdown, the nonstop mumbling about one. To my unfortunate luck, none of these crushes had a happily ever after ending; all of them were rather dramatic tragedy plays, and as soon as the red curtains were about to fall there was only one person to salute the protagonist after her loss – me. I’ve seen the very same theatrical play being acted a dozen times over the years and despitefully it always ends the same old teary way.

Clearly affected by my friend’s approach towards love, I figured that emotions and more specifically emotions involving another person besides oneself are a quite tricky chapter. It’s not that relationships are that hard, it’s more about people being masochist and at the same time sadist, creating imaginary, implausible, dreamy scenarios that only exist in films and which therefore lead to complicated relationships. And so, why to waste your time on someone when you can be better off alone? That’s the part where she and I most quarrel about – the power of loneliness and how you owe it to yourself of not settling down for none but the extraordinary.

Yet today I’m just not in the mood of repeating my monologue for I know that is vain. It’s not that I’m not particularly interested on what my dear friend’s got to narrate me about this new crush of hers, he might as well be a nice guy who knows. But to be frank, I’ve become a little uptight a bit lately with her behavior, one-day swearing she would take the time to stay alone and then the next day going out with a man, forgetting all about the promise she made to herself. And to claim that she’s crazy in love with this man is beyond absurd to me.

Falling in love takes time and to put this more poetically; it does not happen overnight, on at some summer party with alcohol running through your veins. John Green has put out there the most accurate definition of falling love by stating that you fall in love with someone the way you fall asleep: slowly and then all at once. Slowly – as all the best things unveil themselves. I thought I told you before, good things take time. And how are you supposed to be in love with someone, when you don’t know anything about them?

This isn’t high school anymore, we just can’t allow ourselves fooling around. And that situation of yours my friend is not love, but pure lust mixed with insecurity. Don’t you dare of confusing the two of them, even though both of them lead to happiness with a tiny difference. Lust is the irrational burst which calls for the thirst of a skin touch leading to temporary happiness. On the other hand, love is sacred and it requires the nakedness of the soul – that is why it has a better chance of lasting as long as forever once you find it.

So my darling you stop buzzing my ears about being in love cause you are not. It’s only just another crush out of the many. Stop wasting your time on these stupendous physical affairs and for once, wait for the real thing will you now?